All families are different and unique in their own ways. Your family is different from your best friend’s family, classmates’ families, even your extended family. Maybe you were adopted, your parents got divorced, or you have two parents of the same gender, or a combination of these. Sometimes it may be hard for the people you know to understand the life you lead.

“So you were adopted?”
What do Ice-T, Willie Nelson, Johann Sebastian Bach, Bill Clinton, Maya Angelou, Gerald R. Ford, Faith Hill, Marilyn Monroe, J.R.R. Tolkien, and Malcolm X all have in common? All of these famous men and women were at some point in their lives adopted or placed in foster care. Adoption is a common practice in the United States, with both domestic and international adoptions taking place.
There are different reasons why you may have been put up for adoption. These reasons range from the death of your birth parents to them not being able to fully provide for you. If you want more information about your birth parents, you may not be able to get access depending on your age, the state you were adopted in, or the type of adoption your adopted parents went through.

For information about adoption laws in Delaware, visit these websites below:
Access to Identifying Information  
Adoption Laws Concerning Minors
Application for Copy of Original Birth Certificate

“Why are you in foster care? What are you going to do when you turn 18?”
There are over 30,000 teenagers in the US that are in foster care. That’s 25 percent of all children in foster care! Instead of thinking about why you are in foster care, think about what you are going to do once you turn 18. Once you turn 18, you are considered to have “aged-out” of the Delaware Foster Care system since you are legally an adult. There are some areas that the state will continue to help support you in for any where between an additional year to three years. There are also several resources available including some funding and scholarships to help you get started on your independence. Some things you may want to do before you turn 18 are:

• Stay in School with a path towards a diploma or work towards a GED.
• Get an afterschool job once you are of age and start saving that money.
• Find the funds and scholarships you qualify for and apply for them.
• Look for programs that may give financial assistance in terms of money for rent, utilities, food, and furniture.

For more information about foster care and services available to teens, check out these websites:
National Adoption Month at Parenthood.com
Peoples Place II
Medicaid Access for Youth Aging Out of Foster Care

“It must stink that your parents got divorced.”
Depending on how long ago the divorce was, how the divorce was handled, and how you felt before, during, and after it, you may not be ready to talk about your parents splitting up. There are also many ways to react to a divorce, and not all of them are negative. Some different reactions children of divorce can have are:

• Shock.
• Sadness.
• Anger at your parents or yourself because of the separation.
• Guilt because you feel that you may have caused the divorce somehow.
• Anxiety about where you are going to live and who will be taking care of you.
• Loneliness because you feel that you don’t have anyone to really talk to about what you are going through.
• Fear that if one parent leaves that you might lose the other one too.

Or you may feel:

• Relieved there isn’t as much stress at home.
• Happy to get to spend special alone time with each parent.

Your life is going to change once your parents make the decision to separate or divorce. Some of the changes in your life you may face are:

• Not being able to see both parents every day because of custody or visitation schedules so you may stop spending as much time with one of your parents.
• Having to move or change schools.
• Your parents being sad or preoccupied for a little while after the divorce.
• Finding it to be more difficult to concentrate in school or other activities in your life.
• Your parents starting to date, form relationships with, or even marrying other people.
• Family finances may have to change to accommodate two separate households.

Remind your parents to try to avoid putting you in the middle of their divorce and ask them to try to get along. Keep in mind that your parents got divorced because of problems in their relationship, not their relationship with you. If you find you are having trouble coping with your parents divorce, go talk to your school’s guidance counselor, a trusted friend, a professional therapist, or even your parents.

For additional information about how to deal with your parents’ divorce, check out these resources:
Dealing with Divorce and Separation: A Guide for Teens
The Divorce Helpbook for Teens by Cynthia MacGregor

“Do you actually like your stepparents?”
After your family separates, it can be difficult to imagine anyone new coming into one of your parents lives. You may feel angry, jealous, or anxiety over your parents new commitment and how you will fit into this new family. You can also experience these feelings if a parent remarries after your other parent died. It can take only a short amount of time or a few years for your parents to decide to get remarried. Most of the time, teenagers do not get a choice as to who their parents decide to form new families with so you have to form a different kind of relationship with these people than you would with someone you choose to have in your life.

After your parents get remarried or move in with someone, there are going to be more adjustments that you are going to have to make in your life. This new family may include new siblings, relatives, and traditions that were not part of your life before. The reality is that there are going to be new people and changes in your life. If you have any concerns before your parents get remarried, talk to that parent about them.

It is important to remember that not all teenagers will have difficulty adapting to a new family, such as accepting a stepparent and being accepted by that new parent’s family; however, if you are feeling nervous or have questions about what is going to happen, try talking to your new stepparent. They may not have considered something you are concerned about so you can explore new options together. Remember, it may take time to establish a good relationship with your stepparent and you will need to make some compromises. Some ways to help you adjust and express your feelings include:

• Keeping a journal about how you feel and what is happening in your relationship with your new parent. You can make lists of pros and cons and refer back to it to see how your feelings have changed over time.
• Talk to your friends. They are an independent third party and may be able to help you feel better about what is going on. They also may have their own stepparent experiences that they can share with you. Most importantly, they will be someone sympathetic that you will be able to easily talk to.
• Talk to your parent that is getting remarried. They need to know how you are feeling and what you are frustrated about because they love you.
• If your parents are wrapped up in their new relationship, talk to an adult you can easily go to with your problems.
• Having another outlet and place to go can be helpful when you need to vent about what is going on in your life so get more involved in your community.

For more information and tips about what to do when you are getting a new stepparent, check out this website:
Stepparents from TeenHealth.org

“Isn’t it weird to not have both a mom and a dad?”

Even though you may not necessarily grow up with both a mom and a dad or don’t live with both your mom and dad, that doesn’t make you any different than kids who did. Scientific research has shown that there is no difference between children who grew up in heterosexual households and those who didn’t in terms of emotional, social, and cognitive abilities. It is important to remember that your parents’ sexual orientation has no correlation to yours. Ten percent of children who live in same-sex households grow up to lead a same-sex life style, which is about the same as the national average. The other 90 percent grow up to lead a heterosexual lifestyle.

If you are having problems with other kids questions or teasing about your parents’ lifestyle, talk to your guidance counselor, teacher, or a trusted adult. Also, look at this site’s section about avoiding conflict.

For additional resources on growing up in a gay, lesbian, bisexual, and/or transgendered family, check out these websites:
Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere
American Academy of Pediatrics
American Psychological Association
Teen Wire
Family Equality Council

For more information for Sylvan or more helpful hints, visit the Sylvan Learning Center website.

There are also several summer school programs that can help you enrich your high school learning experience as well. Check your school or home district’s webpage for more information on their available summer programs.

The University of Delaware’s Summer College program is available for high school juniors and seniors. Courses range from Social Anthropology and General Chemistry to Steel Drum Band and Philosophies of Film. The courses run from July 12 through August 16. It’s a way to have a fun summer and get college credit at the same time! Visit UD’s Summer College website for more information.

(Information gathered from the Kaplan, Sylvan, and the Child Development Institute websites)

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“What can I do? They won’t leave me alone…”
Remember when you were five years old and someone was picking on you? The answer was always to tell the teacher. Now that you are older, sometimes telling the teacher may not be the right answer; in fact it may make the problem worse. If the conflict is violent or dangerous in someway, then you need to tell an adult who has authority right away. Make sure you explain to them that you don’t want anyone to know you reported the conflict because they can usually find ways to solve the problem without the person knowing you told. Most of the time, there are ways you can handle non-violent conflict on your own. Here are some things you can do to prevent verbal or emotional bullying to happen to you:

• Walk away. A bully enjoys seeing you react so don’t give them the motivation to bother you and they will get bored of messing with you.
• Put your anger on hold. Since the bully is trying to get a reaction out of you, if you don’t let them see the reaction they are looking for chances are they will leave you alone. If they won’t just let you walk away, try to get out of their path another way. For example, if you use humor, they may be thrown off guard. Once you are no longer with the bully, make your frustration productive and channel it into other aspects of your life such as writing or working out. If you write a note or letter in anger, tear it up once you feel better.
• Don’t attack. If a bully is threatening to beat you up, if you try to hit, punch, kick, or push a bully, there’s a greater chance of them following through on their threat. There’s also a greater chance that you will get in trouble along with the bully. Stand up for yourself without being violent.
• Be confident. This is something you can practice to keep the bully from bothering you. If you walk tall with your head high and portray confidence, the bully will not be so eager to bother you.
• Talk it out with someone you trust. Go to a guidance counselor, teacher, or parents to let out your fears and frustrations. They can give you the support you need to overcome the bully.
• Pick a friend to confide in. Chose one or two friends who you completely trust and tell them about how you feel about the bully. Don’t tell everyone you know because it may get back to the bully and fuel them to keep bothering you. This will help decrease your feelings of isolation and hurt. It will also give you a chance to set gossip rumors straight with your friends.

There are different kinds of bullying in this modern age and not all of them include physical violence or teasing in the stairwell. There is another type of bullying that is on the rise called cyber bullying. Cyber bullying uses any form of digital technology to tease and torment other people. If you are receiving mean texts, messages on your Myspace or Facebook, instant messenger, or any type of technological communication, you are the victim of cyberbullying. Cyberbullying is also harmful in that it can be anyone you know who is targeting you. Cyberbullies can remain anonymous if they so chose, which sometimes makes it harder to catch them. It can also seem inescapable and make someone feel unsafe in their own home. Here are some things you can do to prevent cyberbullies from bothering you and how to handle them if they do:

• Don’t post anything online that you would be embarrassed if it got around to other people such as secrets or pictures.
• Your phone number and name should not be listed in your screen name profile or social networking site profile.
• Don’t send messages to people when you are angry.
• If you know people who are cyberbullying, tell them it is not OK.
• Don’t respond to messages that are offensive to you or your friends.
• Don’t forward e-mails that gossip or spread rumors about other people.
• Don’t open messages from people you know are cyberbullies.
• Block people who act like cyberbullies.
• Save or print messages from a cyberbullies so you can use them later as evidence if it is needed.
• Show the messages to an adult you trust. If they don’t help you, keep asking adults until someone helps you.

Here are some true stories about kids who have been the victims of cyberbullying:
Cyberbulling in USA Today
Net Smartz
How Mean Can Teens Be?
13 Year Old Girl Commits Suicide After Cyberbullying

For more information about how to manage conflict and bullies, check out these websites:
National Crime Prevention Council
Dealing with Bullying
StopCyberBullying.org
McGruff and Cyberbullies  
Cyberbullying- National Crime Prevention Council

“What is a healthy relationship?”
Everyone should be in a relationship that is healthy. A healthy relationship gives people a feeling of being safe when they are with their significant other. A healthy relationship should be built on eight qualities:

• Support
• Trust
• Respect
• Equality
• Honesty
• Fairness
• Separate Identities
• Good Communication

“How do I know if I am in an unhealthy relationship?”
An unhealthy relationship is one where one or both partners are disrespectful, controlling, or abusive. A partner can be abusive or controlling in several ways including emotionally, physically, and sexually. If you think you might be in a bad relationship, ask yourself these questions:

• Does your partner ever say, “You wouldn’t need other friends if you loved me,” “You are lucky to have me,” or “You are the only person who can make me happy”?
• Does your partner try to make you feel guilty about mistakes?
• Does your partner blame you when something goes wrong?
• Does your partner make you ask to go places or do things?
• Does your partner check up on you?
• Does your partner yell at you?
• Does you partner threaten to hit you?
• Has your partner actually hit you?
• Has your partner abandoned you in an unsafe place?
• Has your partner damaged the things you care about?
• Does your partner want you to wear clothes that you don’t like?
• Does your partner show interest in others or make sexual remarks to make you upset?
• Does your partner force you to engage in sexual activity?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be in an unhealthy and even dangerous relationship. If you feel like you are in a dangerous relationship, trust your instincts. Talk to someone you trust or call this toll-free hotline (1-800-799-SAFE). All calls are confidential. If you are in immediate danger, call the police (911).

“I am in a healthy relationship and my partner wants to have sex. I am not sure if I am ready for that though…”
Deciding to have sex for the first time with a partner is a big decision and is not one that should be taken lightly. Before having sex, partners should always make sure that:

• They have each other’s consent.
• They didn’t have to pressure the other person to have sex.
• They are honest with their partner.
• They view their partner as an equal.
• They protect the other person against emotional and physical harm.
• They are clear about what they do and do not want to do and respect the other person’s limits.
• They accept responsibility for their actions.
• They make sure they use protection against sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy.

Even though there are two people involved, you need to make sure that you are really ready to take on the responsibilities of having sex. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• Am I having sex because I want to?
• Do I know my partner well enough to have sex?
• Is it legal for us to have sex?
• Am I comfortable enough to do this even when I am sober?
• Do I know enough to be making an educated decision?
• Will I regret this later?
• Is this an easy subject for me and my partner to talk about?
• Do I know enough about safe sex?
• Are we both confident we want to do this?
• How does me having sex fit in with my personal beliefs? How does it fit in with theirs?

If the answer is no to any of these questions, you may want to reconsider whether or not you are ready to have sex.

For more information about relationships and sex, visit these websites:
Planned Parenthood
Teens Health
AVERT.org   

• Grief is a normal emotion. Keep that in mind and accept that it you will feel better over time.
• Take part in memorial or funeral services if you can. If there are any traditions that honor the person that died, being involved with them will help you feel better.
• Having people around you provides a sense of support and keeps you from feeling isolated.
• Talking helps some people get through the pain. If you don’t feel comfortable talking, that’s OK. Don’t feel pressured to talk about it if you are not ready.
• Find other ways to express yourself if you don't like talking about it. Keep a journal, write poetry, or make a tribute to the person who died. You can plant a tree or memorial garden, or even take part in a charity walk, such as a 5k for cancer. You can share this experience with others or keep it to yourself if that will help make you feel better.
• Exercise.
• Even if you do not think you are hungry and start skipping meals, your body still needs the nutrition. Make sure you are eating plenty of good, healthy food.
• You don’t have to grieve alone. Ask your school counselor or another adult to help you join a support group.
• Feel free to express your emotions.

Sometimes the pain gets to be too intense and will turn into depression. If this happens, you need to ask for help from someone that you trust. There are some different ways to tell if your grief has turned into depression. Some of the signs are:

• It’s been at least four months since the person died and you are not feeling any better.
• You haven’t been able to go on with normal activities because the pain is so strong.
• Your grief has had an impact on your sleeping and eating habits or your ability to concentrate and socialize.
• You have considered hurting yourself or committing suicide because you can barely stand the thought of living now that the other person is gone.

For more information on how to deal with death and grief check out this website:
Death and Grief
 

 “I feel really sad and I don’t know why…”
 One out of eight teenagers suffer from depression. Depression can be caused by a variety of things and can even cause the person to have physical symptoms such as loss of appetite, upset stomach, weight changes, sleeping problems, and headaches. Some of the reasons people get depressed include:

• Genetics- Studies have shown that depression runs in families. This doesn’t mean that people with the genetic make-up will definitely get depressed. Genes are a factor but they do not cause or prevent depression.
• Life Events- When people experience something that is too emotionally challenging for them to handle, there is a greater risk that they will become depressed. The loss of a family member, pet, a divorce, or even changing schools are all situations that could contribute to someone’s depression.
• Family and Social Environment- A difficult home life can have a huge impact on someone. Some of the high-stress living situations may be poverty, homelessness, violence, drug, or alcohol abuse.
• Medical Conditions- If someone has a medical condition that affect the balance of hormones in the body, this could be a contributing cause to the depression. When these problems are addressed by a doctor, the depression will usually go away. Depression may also be caused by learning disabilities in teenagers.

There are also biological contributors to depression other than genetics. The brain has chemicals in it called neurotransmitters. These chemicals are responsible for sending messages between nerve cells in the brain. Some neurotransmitters are responsible for regulating moods. If the neurotransmitters are running low, this can cause someone to get depressed. Stress is also a contributing factor to the lack of neurotransmitters. There are several medical treatments to help balance out the neurotransmitters if this is what is causing the depression.

There are several symptoms for depression to look for:

• Feeling sad most of the time.
• Being tired and have no energy.
• Being unable to enjoy things that used to make you happy.
• Being irritable or anxious most of the time.
• Withdrawing from family and friends.
• Not being able to concentrate.
• Experiencing changes in weight and sleep patterns.
• Feeling worthless or guilty.
• Feeling pain that is has no medical cause.
• Being indifferent or pessimistic.
• Frequently thinking about death or suicide.

Depression can be either mild or severe and it varies from person to person. Treatment for depression can also vary. 80 percent of people who suffer from depression will have a better quality of life once they get treated. Different treatments for depression include medications, therapy, or a combination of the two.

If you are feeling depressed, don’t wait for it to go away. If one of your friends is severely depressed and hasn’t gotten help or they are severely depressed and considering hurting themselves, tell an adult immediately. It is hard for someone who is depressed to listen to reason, so help them seek medical attention instead of arguing with them. Even if you have promised not to tell, you need to tell an adult so your friend can get the treatment they need.

For more information about depression, check out this website:
Depression

“Sometimes I get so sad that I cut myself.”
Sometimes people start to feel so sad that they hurt themselves, causing a range of minor and major injuries to themselves, permanent self-mutilation, or even death. Some forms of self-injury include people burning themselves with matches, or lighted cigarettes. Cutting is a type of self-injury where someone uses sharp objects on their bodies to make cuts or scratches deep enough that they start to bleed. People can cut themselves on their wrists, arms, legs, or stomachs. Teens who cut themselves usually have to keep the part of the body they cut hidden so others will not find the scars. Cutting usually starts as an impulsive behavior that develops into a compulsory habit. This can lead to someone having a cutting addiction because it feels like it is impossible to stop.

There are different reasons why people feel the need to cut themselves. Someone may feel intense amounts of pressure or cut to express strong negative emotions, such as rage, sorrow, and emptiness. It may feel like that is the only way to cope with a bad situation they are in or a way to relieve the pressures they are feeling. Some people have not developed their coping skills enough to know how to handle these situations when they arise. People who cut themselves may also have a mental health issue, such as depression, an eating disorder, obsessive thinking, impulsive behaviors, mental health problems, drug, or alcohol issues.

Some people may not be cutting because they are having a tough time handling something. Some teens cut themselves to seem rebellious and tough. It may seem like something cool to do, but it’s actually very dangerous. If the razor, scissors, pins, soda can tabs, or other objects you are using haven’t been cleaned properly, you could get an infection, or if you misjudge how deep you are cutting you could need to get stitches or be hospitalized.

There are several other ways to relieve tough situations without hurting yourself. You may need to seek professional medical help or talk to friends, parents, or other adults. Exercise can also help make you feel better in tough situations. If you have been cutting yourself, here are some ways to get help:

• Admit that you have a problem. Telling someone is usually the hardest step in the process.
• Identify what it is triggering your desire to cut yourself. Once you figure it out, tell someone about it. There are also medical professionals who can help you figuring out what it is that is making you want to mutilate yourself if you don’t know what it is.
• Ask someone to help you deal with your cutting problem. If they don’t help, you find someone else who will. A school counselor or nurse can be very helpful if your parents think it is just a phase you are going through.

For more information about how to prevent self-mutilation, check out these websites:
Cutting
How can I stop cutting?
How can I stop my friend from cutting?

“My friend wants to kill himself, what can I do?”
Did you know that suicide is the third leading cause for teenagers between the ages of 15 and 19? Or that two to six percent of all children try to kill themselves in a year? Of that two to six percent, 15 to 50 percent of children who are attempting suicide have tried before. Don’t think that someone who is talking about it won’t be able to go through with it. There’s a better chance that they will try it.

Most people who want to commit suicide don’t actually want to die. What they want is to escape from what is happening in their lives. At that moment, it may seem that suicide is the only way out. They may be running from feelings of rejection, loss, being unwanted, or being angry. Depression is often a contributor to suicide. Another component that is often present in suicide attempts is a substance abuse problem. Teens who drink alcohol and abuse drugs have a greater suicide risk than ones who don’t. This is especially true if the teen is depressed and turns to drugs as a way to escape how they feel. What they do not realize is that drugs intensify depression instead of helping it. It is also important to remember that not all suicides are planned. It may be the result of a break-up, a fight with a parent, an unwanted pregnancy, or many other reasons. Some of the teens who attempt suicide are just trying to get a point across and do not actually want to die.
Some ways to tell if someone is thinking about suicide are if they:

• Talk about “going away.”
• Talk about feeling guilty or hopeless.
• Pull away from family and friends.
• Don’t want to go out anymore.
• Have no interest in activities they did before.
• Have trouble thinking clearly or concentrating.
• Change eating and sleeping habits.
• Start drinking alcohol, drugs, driving too fast, or other destructive behaviors.

There are things you can do if you think someone you know is considering suicide. You can ask your friend if they are thinking about suicide. This may be a hard conversation to have, but it could be a conversation that saves your friend’s life. Chances are that someone will be more willing to talk about it if the person is someone they think is really concerned. Don’t be worried that you will put the idea into their head, you should always ask. Talking about it may help them feel less isolated and help them consider another solution to their problems.

Listen when that person is talking to you, but make sure you are doing it without judging them. Offer them reassurance that you are there for them and will be in the future. Make sure you let them know that you really do care. If you think there is immediate danger DO NOT LEAVE THEM ALONE. At this point, you should tell someone. Even if you have been sworn to secrecy, telling can be the difference between whether or not your friend actually does try to kill themselves. Tell an adult you trust as soon as possible. You can also call 911 or a toll-free crisis and suicide hotline. If someone attempts suicide but is able to be saved, make sure that you overcome your feelings of discomfort when talking to them. They need to feel connected with other people and you shutting them out could make them feel worse than before.

“I can’t believe my best friend actually killed herself…”
If your friend does actually kill themselves, there can be a lot of different emotions you may experience. Sometimes you feel guilty, that there was something else they could have done. Sometimes you feel angry because you think that person was selfish. Sometimes you are so full of grief that you don’t know what to feel. Talk to someone you trust and if you find that your feelings start to interfere with your everyday life, seek help from a medical professional.

For more information on suicide, visit these websites:
Suicide
I am Thinking about Suicide
My Friend is Thinking about Suicide

If you or a friend are at risk for attempting suicide, call a suicide crisis hotline:
1-800-SUICIDE
1-800-999-9999
If it is an emergency, dial 911.
 
“Therapy is for crazy people.”
Contrary to popular belief, therapy can be beneficial for a lot of people. Therapy is a way for you to learn about yourself, ways to overcome difficulties, develop inner strengths, or find ways to change themselves and help their situations. It can also offer you a place to vent when you are having a hard time and offer a support system. A therapist is someone who has been specially trained to help others deal with their stressful situations and individual problems. These are people who you can trust. Everything that you say to them is confidential unless they believe you are going to harm yourself or others.
It can be hard to know when you need therapy. Here are some times when therapy is an appropriate option for teens:

• Feeling sad, depressed, worried, or stressed out.
• Dieting or overeating for so long it becomes a problem.
• Self-injuries.
• Attention or learning problems.
• Coping with a chronic illness or a new diagnosis.
• Family issues.
• Bad habits such as nail-biting or over spending.
• Anger management or handling peer pressure.
• Wanting to make more friends or build self-confidence.

It can be really hard to decide to seek medical attention and it may not even be your idea. Sometimes you may feel like you are being criticized or be embarrassed. On the other hand you may feel relieved that someone is concerned enough about you to mention it. It is important to remember that therapy is not just for crazy people. There may be several of your classmates that have been or are in therapy. There is nothing wrong with going to someone you can trust to help you solve your problems, which is exactly what a therapist is there to do.

For more information about therapists and therapy, check out this website:
Going to Therapy

Looking for some ways to help you stay mentally healthy? Here are some ideas!

• Exercise everyday. Even if you don’t like to do aerobic exercises, try some yoga. Try taking a 15 to 30 minute walk, jog, or bike ride.
• Make sure to have a diet that is full of fruits and vegetables. Also, eat on a regular basis even if you are not hungry by grabbing a piece of fruit or something light to eat.
• Identify problems you are having but do not dwell on them.
• There are many fun ways to express yourself, like through art, writing, or even playing with your favorite pet.
• Stay optimistic as much as you can.

For more information on how to stay mentally healthy and avoid depression, check out this website:
5 Ways to Fight Depression

“Now that I am getting older, how can I make sure I am eating healthy?”
 During the teen years, the body has a year where you go through the greatest amount of growth you will go through. For girls, this usually happens around 12 and around 14 for boys. At this point in life, girls should be eating 2,400 calories each day and boys should be eating somewhere between 2,800 and 3,000 each day. Here are some helpful hints to help you make sure you are getting the calories you need in a healthy way:

• The foods that are fully natural, such as fruits and vegetables are usually the lowest in fat, sugar, and have the most nutrients. Eating foods like whole grains, lean meats, chicken, fish, and low-fat dairy products are also ways to get the calories you need.
• Learn how to read the nutrition labels on boxes. Boxes that are marked “fat-free” will tend to have more sugar and chemicals in them than foods that don’t.
• Be aware of calorie content. Two tablespoons of peanut butter have 180 calories and cottage cheese has only 100 calories in one-half cup. However, most people eat more than one-half cup of cottage cheese at a time.
• There are easy, healthy foods that you can make on your own, such as
• A grilled cheese sandwich filled with calcium.
• A homemade hamburger.
• A quick backed potato topped with cheese, ham, or vegetables can be cooked in the microwave.
• Pasta with sauce from a jar is a good filler food if you need more carbohydrates.
• It’s OK to have a frozen pizza every once in a while.
• You can’t get all the calories you need in only three meals a day so snacking is a healthy eating habit. There are plenty of nutritious foods that are good snack foods, such as:
• Whole-grain crackers with low-fat cheeses.
• Fluffy whole wheat bread with turkey, tuna packed in water, lettuce, and tomatoes make a healthy sandwich.
• Plums, nectarines, bananas, kiwis, mixed berries, and other colorful fruits.
• Carrots, celery, and other raw vegetables.
• Low-fat, low-salt pretzels.
• Light popcorn.
• Yogurt.
• Soup.

For more information about how to eat healthy, check out this website:
Teen's Nutritional Needs

“I’ve decided I am against the killing of animals but I don’t know how to make sure I am getting the nutrients my body needs.”
Becoming a vegetarian is your choice but it is important to make sure that you get all the vitamins and minerals you need just like teens who choose to eat meat. The key to a healthy vegetarian diet is the same as any other diet: variety! There are a few different types of vegetarians. There are semi or partial vegetarians who only avoid eating red meat. Ovo-lacto-vegetarians avoid all meat, seafood, and poultry but will still eat milk and eggs. Lacto-vegetarians avoids all animal-based products except milk. Ovo-vegetarians avoid all animal-based products but will still eat eggs. Vegans avoid animal-based products all together. These are acceptable choices as long as you make sure that you are getting the nutrients that meat, eggs, and milk all provide.

The B12 vitamin is only found in animal products but there are foods that are fortified with vitamin B12, such as fortified soymilk, nutritional yeast, and some meat substitutes. If you do not like any of these, you will need to take a B12 supplement to make sure you are getting enough B12 in your diet.

Iron has a higher absorption rate in meat than it does in other sources.  Choose foods that are high in iron or fortified with iron, such as cereals, bread, rice, pasta, raisins, watermelon, spinach, chickpeas, and blackstrap molasses. Another way to help the absorption of iron is to take it with vitamin C. Citrus fruits, tomatoes, broccoli are all foods that will help raise the absorption rate of iron. You will also want to look for a vitamin that contains iron.

There are many vegetables that contain calcium that can help replace the milk that ovo-vegetarians choose not to consume. Vegetables such as broccoli, sweet potatoes, great northern beans, navy beans, and leafy greens will all help you get calcium. Soymilk and orange juice that is fortified with calcium are also great choices.

To make sure you are getting enough protein you should eat grains, legumes, nuts, seeds, and vegetables. Tofu, peanut butter, beans, breads, and cereals are also good sources of protein to add to your diet.

Zinc is another important mineral to make sure you have in your system, especially since it is found mostly in meat and yogurt. However, zinc can be found in whole grains, brown rice, legumes, and spinach.

For more information on how to become a healthy vegetarian, check out these websites:
Vegetarian Diets
Vegetarian Nutrition for Teenagers

“Do I really need to work out?”
The answer is yes. Exercise is something that all humans should be doing, especially during the teen years. Teens should be raising their heart rate without stopping for 20 minutes at least three to four times a week. It isn’t hard to find ways to exercise. You can work out with friends or alone. By working out now, you will decrease your chances of having a stroke or heart attack in your 40s and 50s.  You will also start to look, think, and feel better about yourself. Here are some examples of ways to work out without having to be on a sports team:

• In-line skating.
• Aerobic dancing.
• Power walking or running.
• Cycling.
• Elliptical training.
• Kick-boxing.
• Tae Bo.
• Jumping rope.
• Ice-skating.
• Jumping on a trampoline.

When you are exercising, your muscles should be sore for the first couple of weeks but you shouldn’t be in pain. Your legs should not feel like they are on fire and you should not be having pain in your lungs. If you are out of shape, work your way up slowly and be sure that you stretch before and after your workout.

For more information on how to exercise the right way, check out this website:
Exercise and Teens

“When I look at myself, all I see is a fat person…”
When people start to feel this way about their bodies, they are at risk for developing an eating disorder. An eating disorder is not just trying to diet or starting to exercise more. An eating disorder occurs when a person develops extreme eating behaviors. It is common for teenagers to develop them, in fact it is estimated that one or two out off every 100 students will develop an eating disorder, especially during the ages of 13 and 17. There are several eating disorders including binge eating, body image disorders, and food phobias, but the two most common eating disorders are anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa.

Anorexia is developed by people who have a distorted view of their body size and shape, as well as a fear of weight gain. Teens who have anorexia will sometimes restrict their food intake by constantly dieting, fasting, or constantly exercising. People with anorexia will hardly eat anything and when they do eat a small amount of food, they become obsessive about it. When someone has anorexia they start to have the following patterns:

• Obsessing over eating habits and weight control.
• Becomes very thin and frail.
• Repeatedly uses a scale to measure weight.
• Compulsively counts calories or weighs food before eating it.
• Exercises excessively.
• Withdraws from social activities, especially ones that include food.
• Becomes depressed, feels cold a lot, and lacks energy.

There are several other things that start to happen when someone has anorexia. Because the body goes into starvation mode from the lack of nutrition, the body suffers from negative effects, including:

• Drop in blood pressure, pulse, and breathing rate.
• Fingernails become fragile and hair starts to fall out.
• Girls stop having their menstrual cycle.
• Soft hair called lanugo hair grows all over skin.
• Inability to concentrate and lightheadedness.
• Anemia.
• Joints swell and bones become brittle.

Bulimia is the other common disorder but it is different than anorexia. With bulimia, the person eats excessively then tries to make up for it. Some of the ways to purge is by forced vomiting, laxatives, excessive exercise.  To be diagnosed with bulimia, the teenager must be binging and purging at least twice a week for two months or more.  People with bulimia are not the ones having that third piece of pizza at the birthday party; they binge eat junk food when they are alone. After eating as much food as they can until they are full, a bulimic will then go and use one of the mentioned tactics to “undo” everything that they ate. While people with anorexia are usually extremely thin or underweight, people with bulimia are usually either normal or overweight. Some signs that someone has developed bulimia are:

• A fear of weight gain.
• Extremely unhappy with weight, body size, and shape.
• Makes excuses to go to the bathroom immediately after meals.
• Only eats low-fat or diet foods in public.
• Buys laxatives, diuretics, or enemas on a regular basis.
• Spends a majority of their time working off the calories that they ate.
• Isn’t as social as they used to be, especially at events where there is food.

There are also several physical problems that are the result of constantly throwing up the nutrients you take in. They include:

• Constant stomach pain.
• Stomach and kidney damage.
• Tooth decay.
• Salivary glands expand permanently causing “chipmunk cheeks”.
• Loss of menstrual cycle.
• Lack of potassium.

There are problems that go alone with every disorder and they range from physical to emotional. People with eating disorders have a greater risk of developing stress, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, heart conditions, or kidney failure. People with less than 15 percent body fat of normal body height and weight usually do not have enough to keep their organs and body parts healthy.

If you think that you or a friend are suffering from an eating disorder, go talk to an adult you can trust. There are many ways to help those who have an eating disorder feel better about themselves and the way they look.
For more information on eating disorders, check out this website:
Eating Disorders